RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR PRE-MARITAL COUPLES

THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING A MARRIAGE WORK - JOHN & JULIE GOTTMAN

This has been one of my favorite books on relationships for at least ten years. Based on their thirty plus years of research the Gottman’s break down the simplest tools to create connection, resolve conflict, and make your marriage last. Many of my clients like it because there are reflection questions and conversation guides in every chapter. Order a copy here.

ATTACHED - AMIR LEVINE & RACHEL HELLER

Most couples struggle with a push-pull dynamic (sometimes called pursuer-distancer) at some point and most of us struggle to understand why.  If we want relationships, why do we have trouble committing?  And if we know balance is important, why do some of us struggle to give partners ample space?  

Read this book to better understand how life as a young child may inform your relationship patterns today- and what to do with that awareness.  Read more here.

THE HIGH CONFLICT COUPLE - ALAN FRUZZETTI

I know you’re probably in one of the lower conflict stages of your relationship, but odds are still good no one taught you how to handle conflict wells. I have yet to hear a negative review from a client about this book (and I recommend this one ALL THE TIME). Even the ones who read it in a romantic stage appreciate it as a proactive tool to improve conflicts before they grow into larger resentments.

This book will walk you through how to interrupt the most damaging communication patterns and help you create new healthy patterns even in the most challenging arguments. Order a copy here.

 

WIRED FOR LOVE - STAN TATKIN

Y’all, this book is gonna rock you. If you’ve wondered about patterns that keep showing up in your relationship, or why you and your sweetie just seem to have different defaults this book is the one for you. It’s breaks down the basics of our attachment styles (defaults) in super easy to understand ways and it gives you lots of ways to shift your responses. I loved it (and many clients have too).

Again, even if things are really good between you (and I hope they are) it’s great proactive reading and discussion fodder as you plan a life together.