I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.
If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to firstname.lastname@example.org Thank you!
LISTEN IN: FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS
CONVERSATION WITH PIA MELLODY, FROM CONVERSATION WITH ALANIS MORISSETTE
Recently a client clued me into the work of Pia Mellody. She said Pia’s work had given her a new lense to look at love addiction and codependent patterns in her relationship. As I began searching for information on Pia I came across this lovely interview she did on Alanis Morissette’s podcast. Their conversation gives a generous overview of Pia’s work and philosophy on dependency in relationships and with substances.
Her stance is that codependent patterns really are more based in childhood relationship trauma where we learn maladaptive patterns of relating. She says our childhood relationship trauma leaves us with immature relationship patterns as adults. Her main principles are:
All of us as children are worthy of love and care. All children are valuable.
Our stories about are partners are often untrue and sometimes have little to do with them- only us.
Most of us have poor modeling around creating healthy internal and external boundaries.
Our dreams and fantasies are deeply held because most of us learn them very early in life.
Her perspective may resonate with many of you just as it has with my client. You can read more about her work here.
Stan Tatkin founded a model of couples therapy called the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). This model is designed to help people really get to the root of the tension and conflict in their partnership. It’s designed to help couples clearly and directly focus on their stuck points and learn to regulate their responses and ultimately change them.
This interview gives a lot of his background telling the story of how he developed the model. I think it’s useful for people considering working with a provider with PACT training to know more about this model, AND it also gives such a rich look at the neurobiology of conflict and bonding I think it could offer really valuable insight for people who are feeling really stuck in heated conflicts.
WATCH THIS: FANTASTIC VIDEOS ON THE HUMAN CONDITION
Trauma is inescapable, we’ve all survived something. But for some folks with more chronic or intense situations- especially early life trauma- is can have powerful impact on our physical health long-term. I’ve shared this video with many clients over the last couple years to share medical perspective on the health impacts of childhood trauma.
Hi! I'm glad you're reading. Let me know if I can help you:
move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity
manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns
I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin).
Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.
Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.