Every week I send out conversation starters for couples. If you'd like to receive them enter your information here.
Remember the sweet beginning of your relationship? Streams of texts and emails, all-night talks that will kept you starry-eyed well into the next day. Fascination, desire, mystery, and excitement fuel you through restless days and nights.
As time passes and you begin building a life with someone life and responsibilities often come between you and that sense of wonder. As you fall into a rut of talking about housecleaning, bills, and childcare daily conversations usually shift from loving flirtation and curiosity to mundane logistics.
Most new couples vow that this will never happen to them. Yet far too many couples become emotionally disconnected even after making that pledge. But it doesn't have to be that way!
Couples who maintain a feeling of connectedness do things differently. They're deliberate about sustaining and engaging real and meaningful dialogue with each other. Their methods don't involve large displays of affection and don't take a ton of time or money. In fact, the littlest things are usually far more impactful than infrequent grand gestures.
One of the cheapest and easiest ways to reconnect is actually the best. By asking meaningful, open-ended questions and staying fully present in conversations couples can rekindle and maintain that sense of chemical attraction, fascination, and desire from the start of their relationship.
The following eight questions are the foundation of happiness in lasting relationships. Use them to start a conversation with your sweetheart this week. Set aside distraction-free time to talk and really listen (like you used to). And begin with the intention to be vulnerable, open, and kind as you begin getting to know one another again.
Who of our friends has a relationship you admire and why?
What three ways can I make your life easier this week?
Does anything worry you that you haven't told me?
What is the best part of being in a relationship with me?
What do I do that most annoys you?
What dreams are you hoping to fulfill this year? How can I support you in reaching them?
How can we make our sex life better?
When do you feel most loved by me?
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Gina Senarighi has been supporting loving couples and healthy teams for nearly twenty years. As a former couples therapist turned retreat coach, workshop facilitator, and author she's transformed partnerships, leaders and communication strategy all over the world.
Her uniquely non-judgmental, inclusive approach to couples work puts even the most concerned participants at ease. She's not your average sit-and-nod supporter- she'll hold hope even when it's hard and always help you grow.