conversation starters

Weekly Conversation Starters for Deeper Connection

Couples who stay curious about each other, engaged in learning about their partners, open to growing together fare better long-term. 

They're able to adapt to changes and navigate bumps in the road with resilience.  And they maintain passion and intimacy by fueling a sense of discovery and space for fascination, mystery, and surprise.

Every week I send out questions to deepen your partnership to help you foster and nourish the intimacy you share with those most important to you.  You can sign up to receive those messages right here.

And you can read some of my most popular conversation starter posts right here.

I hope these help you connect in meaningful ways with someone you love. 

Warmly, Gina


questions for couples |date night conversation | conversation starters

Here are a few questions to ask your sweetie this week:

  1. What about this relationship inspires you?

  2. What in our relationship supports your growth?

  3. What parts of this relationship support your health?

  4. What about our partnership makes you a better person?

  5. What about this relationship frightens you?

  6. What about this relationship brings you most joy?

questions for couples |date night conversation | conversation starters

Quick tips for these questions:

  1. Be present. Set aside some fully-present distraction-free time to ask and respond to these with someone you love. Put down your phone, walk away from any screens, and give your partner your full presence.

  2. Stay open to possibility. Even if you think you know your partner's responses listen to them without assumption so they have room to surprise you.  

  3. Show up. Offer responses in complete sentences and challenge yourself to elaborate.  This isn't about being brief- it's about growing more intimate connection.  Add specifics and details to offer more of yourself to your partner.

  4. Really engage. Ask your partner follow up questions. Part of this process is about engaging with your partner in meaningful ways. Asking more follow up questions will show you care and broaden the conversation.

  5. Connect with others. Collect all the questions and take them on a date night, dinner party, road trips, and campfires to inspire more meaningful conversation with your community.  

Five Questions to Ask on Date Night This Week

Nearly every week couples ask me how to keep the passion alive in their long-term relationships. They see desire fatigue set in all around them, the more we build a comfortable stable life with someone, the less we connect with the fascination, intrigue, and spontaneity that usually comes so easily early in relationships.  

Those three elements fade away as we stop exploring ourselves and each other.  Over time we start assuming we know everything there is to know about our partner.  To that idea, I say:

How incredibly boring it must be to know everything about your love! How limiting it must be to have the person you desire think they know everything about you! 

I hope you never know everything there is to know about your partner. And if you really do, you're either spending too much time together (and need more independence) or aren't growing as humans (and need to start).

The simplest way to reconnect with that energy is to start getting curious about each other.  Start asking questions again and really answering one another.  No quick one-word responses.  No mumbled answers while scrolling your phone or playing a video game.  Turn towards one another with intention like you did way back when and start discovering one another again. 

You know I send out juicy questions to bring couples closer every week.  This week, try asking your honey these on date night:

  1. What do you daydream about most often?

  2. When do you fantasize about escape?

  3. What makes you cringe?

  4. What do you want more of in your daily life?

  5. What can I do to support you in making your dreams come true?

 


Gina Senarighi | :GBTQ Couples Counseling | LGBTQ Marriage Therapy

Gina Senarighi has been supporting loving couples and healthy teams for nearly twenty years. As a former couples therapist turned retreat coach, workshop facilitator, and author she's transformed partnerships, leaders and communication strategy all over the world.  

Her uniquely non-judgmental, inclusive approach to couples work puts even the most concerned participants at ease.  She's not your average sit-and-nod supporter- she'll hold hope even when it's hard and always help you grow. 

Call for a consultation to see how she can help you deepen connection, communicate effectively, and passionately reignite your relationship.

Three Questions to Ask Your Partner This Week

Thank you to Danielle LaPorte for this week's questions.  If you don't know her already, Danielle wrote the Desire Map years ago and it became a foundation for the couples work I do to this day.  In it she helps people re-orient their days around what they want most in life. 

I've now walked hundreds of clients through her process to help them reconnect with their core values, clarify intentions, and take meaningful action individually and in partnership.  Check it out here.

She's about to launch a new podcast and I'm really excited about it.  Even before it launches (next week) she gave a sneak peek on itunes.  In the preview, she asks three questions, and while I heard them I thought of all of you. 

You know I send out juicy questions to bring couples closer every week.  This week, try hers:

  1. Whats the drag in your life?

  2. What do you love?

  3. What do you crave?

  4. What do you want?

  5. How do you think I can help with that?



Gina Senarighi Love Coach | Couples Retreats | Relationship Coach

Gina Senarighi has been supporting loving couples and healthy teams for nearly twenty years. As a former couples therapist turned retreat coach, workshop facilitator, and author she's transformed partnerships, leaders and communication strategy all over the world.  

Her uniquely non-judgmental, inclusive approach to couples work puts even the most concerned participants at ease.  She's not your average sit-and-nod supporter- she'll hold hope even when it's hard and always help you grow. 

Call for a consultation to see how she can help you deepen connection, communicate effectively, and passionately reignite your relationship.

Eight Questions Happy Couples Ask Each Other

Every week I send out conversation starters for couples.  If you'd like to receive them enter your information here.


Remember the sweet beginning of your relationship? Streams of texts and emails, all-night talks that will kept you starry-eyed well into the next day. Fascination, desire, mystery, and excitement fuel you through restless days and nights.

As time passes and you begin building a life with someone life and responsibilities often come between you and that sense of wonder.  As you fall into a rut of talking about housecleaning, bills, and childcare daily conversations usually shift from loving flirtation and curiosity to mundane logistics.

Most new couples vow that this will never happen to them. Yet far too many couples become emotionally disconnected even after making that pledge. But it doesn't have to be that way!

Couples who maintain a feeling of connectedness do things differently. They're deliberate about sustaining and engaging real and meaningful dialogue with each other. Their methods don't involve large displays of affection and don't take a ton of time or money. In fact, the littlest things are usually far more impactful than infrequent grand gestures.

One of the cheapest and easiest ways to reconnect is actually the best.  By asking meaningful, open-ended questions and staying fully present in conversations couples can rekindle and maintain that sense of chemical attraction, fascination, and desire from the start of their relationship.

The following eight questions are the foundation of happiness in lasting relationships.  Use them to start a conversation with your sweetheart this week.  Set aside distraction-free time to talk and really listen (like you used to).  And begin with the intention to be vulnerable, open, and kind as you begin getting to know one another again.

  1. Who of our friends has a relationship you admire and why?

  2. What three ways can I make your life easier this week?

  3. Does anything worry you that you haven't told me?

  4. What is the best part of being in a relationship with me?

  5. What do I do that most annoys you?

  6. What dreams are you hoping to fulfill this year?  How can I support you in reaching them?

  7. How can we make our sex life better?

  8. When do you feel most loved by me?

If you'd like to get conversation starters like these in your inbox once a week add your email address below.  I'm happy to share these tools with you!


Gina Senarighi | Couples Retreat | Communication Workshop

Gina Senarighi has been supporting loving couples and healthy teams for nearly twenty years. As a former couples therapist turned retreat coach, workshop facilitator, and author she's transformed partnerships, leaders and communication strategy all over the world.  

Her uniquely non-judgmental, inclusive approach to couples work puts even the most concerned participants at ease.  She's not your average sit-and-nod supporter- she'll hold hope even when it's hard and always help you grow. 

Call for a consultation to see how she can help you deepen connection, communicate effectively, and passionately reignite your relationship.

36 Questions for Closeness in Relationships

Even if you’ve been with a partner for years, there is always something to learn about them. These questions came from a study by Arthur Aron and others designed to create interpersonal closeness. (You can see the entire study here). 

In the study, Aron worked with students to measure closeness and found with more meaningful conversation (initiated by these questions) they started to feel closer to those around them.  You can use the same questions below with your sweetheart, a colleague, or your kids to start feeling closer as well!

Set I

1. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Describe where you went and what you saw.
2. What was the best gift you ever received and why?
3. If you had to move from California where would you go, and what would you miss the most about California?
4. How did you celebrate last Halloween?
5. Do you read a newspaper often and which do you prefer? Why?
6. What is a good number of people to have in a student household and why?
7. If you could invent a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
8. What is the best restaurant you’ve been to in the last month that your partner hasn’t been to? Tell your partner about it.
9. Describe the last pet you owned.
10. What is your favorite holiday? Why?
11. Tell your partner the funniest thing that ever happened to you when you were with a small child.
12. What gifts did you receive on your last birthday?

Set II

13. Describe the last time you went to the zoo.
14. Tell the names and ages of your family members, include grandparents, aunts and uncles, and where they were born (to the extent you know this information).
15. One of you say a word, the next say a word that starts with the last letter of the word just said. Do this until you have said 50 words. Any words will do-you aren’t making a sentence.
16. Do you like to get up early or stay up late? Is there anything funny that has resulted from this?
17. Where are you from? Name all of the places you’ve lived.
18. What is your favorite class at UCSC so far? Why?
19. What did you do this summer?
20. What gifts did you receive last Christmas/Hanukkah?
21. Who is your favorite actor of your own gender? Describe a favorite scene in which this person has acted.
22. What was your impression of UCSC the first time you ever came here?
23. What is the best TV show you’ve seen in the last month that your partner hasn’t seen? Tell your partner about it.
24. What is your favorite holiday? Why?

Set III

25. Where did you go to high school? What was your high school like?
26. What is the best book you’ve read in the last three months that your partner hasn’t read? Tell your partner about it.
27. What foreign country would you most like to visit? What attracts you to this place?
28. Do you prefer digital watches and clocks or the kind with hands? Why?
29. Describe your mother’s best friend.
30. What are the advantages and disadvantages of artificial Christmas trees?
31. How often do you get your hair cut? Where do you go? Have you ever had a really bad haircut experience?
32. Did you have a class pet when you were in elementary school? Do you remember the pet’s name?
33. Do you think left-handed people are more creative than right-handed people?
34. What is the last concert you saw? How many of that band’s albums do you own? Had you seen them before? Where?
35. Do you subscribe to any magazines? Which ones? What have you subscribed to in the past?
36. Were you ever in a school play? What was your role? What was the plot of the play? Did anything funny ever happen when you were on stage?